It's What You Need

Chelsea Clinton sat amidst a sea of beer cans. She just finished watching her favorite
original Twilight Zone episode, The Masks. She turned to her husband, who was on his hands and knees cleaning the kitchen floor. "Rickie, clean it again!" she screamed. "You prattle on about how you want to run for congress but you can't even get that kitchen floor to sparkle." Rickie looked up obfuscated and responded, "Yes, M'am."

Rickie got to his feet and said, "I want a high octane job. One where I make a difference for millions of fellow New Yorkers."

Chelsea belched and snorted a laugh. "Well, you're making glacial progress."

"That's because you always put me down!" he said.

"What? I lauded your ability to clean the bathroom," said Chelsea. "And then I green lighted your kitchen floor assignment. You should be thankful!"

"Yes, M'am."

"It's not worth getting into a scrum, Rickie. You became a tour de force cleaning the toilet. Your ability to learn the rules has brought to bear your potential to perhaps become a congressman one day."

"Your prescience gives me hope," said Rickie.

Chelsea squinted awkwardly. "You're not in the congress yet and I think I've had quite enough of you opining about your pipe dreams." There was a knock at the front door. It was an old man with top hat and monocle. The man handed Chelsea a AA battery and said, "It's what you need," and then promptly left.

"Who was it, M'am?" asked Rickie.

"Some codger who handed me a battery."

Rickie procured a fresh bucket of soap to clean the kitchen for  a sixth time while Chelsea popped a Treehouse Haze Double IPA and settled back in her chair for the next Twilight Zone. She raised her remote to click start and nothing happened. She reached into her pocket for the battery. She thought back to what he said, "It's what you need." She inserted the new battery into the remote and pressed a button that started her next episode. The episode was titled What You Need. "I'll be damned," she said under her breath.

"What'd ya say, M'am?" asked Rickie.

She leaned back in her Lazy Boy, blasted a fart, and roared, "Get back to work, Rickie!"


*****
Color words: prattle on, obfuscate, high octane, glacial progress, lauded, green light, scrum, tour de force, brought to bear, prescient, opine, top hat and monocle, codger, procure, traverse