Bellatrix Lestrange Scares Another One Away

When Anderson Cooper saw his blind date, he made a hairpin turn and ran down 52nd Street flailing his arms. He looked back in horror and saw a woman dressed completely in black with intense eyes and sparks flying out of her wand. She caught up with him six blocks away and after a bruising battle, dragged him into the upscale sushi restaurant, Nobu. Once they settled down and were seated next to a misty waterfall, it was an apropros time for Anderson to ask his date her name.

The figure in black cackled deliriously and said slowly, "Bellatrix Lestrange."

Anderson stiffened and said, "Well, that certainly puts a black eye on our date. You're the evil witch from Hogwarts!"

Bellatrix rolled her eyes with disgust and tore into her seafood ceviche. Anderson dialed up the energy to ask, "Ummm... what do you like to do.. ahhh... when you're not ummm...casting spells?"

The sorceress drained a tankard of sake, twirled inaniwa noodles with chopsticks, and said, "Torture, dark spells, mayhem...ya' know, general unrest."

"How about we soften the rhetoric, a bit," said Anderson, as he noshed some expertly-prepared baby corn honey truffle.

"I have a better idea, my little silver fox, let's share some cuddles in the grotto in the VIP area," she said with a coy smile. 

"You know, you're much less inimical when you've had a few drinks, my dear," said Anderson softly.

After an hour in the hot tub, and a few rounds of cocktails, Bellatrix Lestrange, the mistress of dark magic, was doling out hugs and advice to Anderson.

"Anderson, why the hell would you want to be a mendacity peddler anyway?" she asked.

She fed him pan-seared halibut with grilled shrimp tostada as they splashed in the private pool.

"Why do you have such deeply-seated mistrust of the media?" asked Anderson.

She downed her lychee mango martini and answered in slurred speech, "I turned evil because of all the chaos-spewing politicians in Paris."

Anderson wasn't touching his dry-aged tomahawk ribeye steak or grilled octopus choclo salsa. 

"You're quite persnickety about your food aren't you?" she said while sampling his entree poolside. 

Anderson looked at her lovingly and said, "Marry me!"

After a pregnant pause, Bellatrix Lestrange belched and said, "Why not." Anderson hopped out of the tub and began singing "Memories" from the musical Cats while frolicking about. A look of disgust spread across Bellatrix's face and said, "Actually, no thanks. I want to stay single." She stood and swept a towel over her shoulders and left. Anderson cried unconsolably in the grotto - alone with a sizzling uni yaki next to him. 

*****
Color words: hairpin turn, bruising battle, apropros, put a black eye on, dialed up the energy to, tankard, soften the rhetoric, nosh, coy, grotto, doled out, mendacity, inimical, deeply-seated mistrust, frolicking, chaos-strewing, persnickety