According to my crystal ball, America will welcome a new king in January of 2021. America determines we needed a new political system and voted to use Britain's system. Here comes the first king of America: Ozzy Osbourne. On a lark, he put his name into the race and won handily. And now is his grand coronation - plenty of celebrities like the band Anthrax and Iron Maiden in attendance. Somehow, Ozzy outfoxed Biden and Trump. As soon as Ozzy started rocking out at rallies, his campaign roared to life. In a holy cow moment, Sharon was named Queen. This created a hornet's nest of other problems: voting, whether to use the White House, and so on. Ozzy's inauguration speech was nothing like the breezy style of Barack Obama or Donald Trump's blowhard bloviation. Once crowned king of America, Ozzy was racked with indecision at every turn. He was nothing like the usual buttoned-up politician and soon his high approval rating petered out. During his first national speech on the telly, he performed a paean to himself: Mama I'm Coming Home. He offered a potted history of America as reason for him becoming king. When the angry crowds overran his palace in Hollywood, he and Sharon hightailed it back to England.
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