Sheri Moon Zombie commandeered the attention of all the guys at the gala. She plucked bacon-wrapped scallops from obsequious waiters' trays as she spoke in an almost clinical way about the benefits of transcendental meditation. Every time Sheri had another black-tie clad gentleman following her like a puppy dog, Martha Stewart become more enraged. Martha cornered Sheri and asked, "How about we divvy up all the single men at this soiree?""You're on a collision course little missy if you think I'm going to share these billionaires with you," snapped Sheri.
"Stay away from Petey - he was recently conscripted into the Air Force and he's all mine. If I see you near him, I'm gonna punch you in the nose," warned Martha.
"Say what, you old bag?" Sheri intoned.
Martha tackled Sheri and they crashed to the ground. Martha quickly assumed mount position and tried the old ground and pound but after a wrenching transition, Sheri shrimped out the side and got Martha's back! Suddenly, Joe Rogan came running over, handed someone his champagne, and began calling the fight. Sheri got Martha in the cobra clutch as a crowd gathered. More people came over when they saw something fishy was going on near the wild goose and truffles buffet. Sheri began calling Martha names in meticulously bad taste. They took a quick timeout as people around them yelled suggestions for the next round. Rob Zombie massaged Sheri's shoulders and a butler slapped a cold steak on her eye to ease the swelling from a stinging right hook. Martha gulped a martini but it had a flavor like ice-cold oyster liquor. Martha felt a rising tide of anger coursing through her veins as she leapt towards Sheri and knocked her out with a roundhouse kick to the temple. Sheri lay bloodied atop a pile of shrimp cocktail and broken glass. Martha Godzilla'd the team of security guards who came to break up the fight and she sauntered off into the sunset.
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